Homeschool is an extension of motherhood: Glow with love one minute and gouge your eyes out the next. Does anyone ever ask you at the end of an eternally long day, “How was your day?” I often feel stumped. That’s a hard question. I feel like I have to run algorithms through my brain to see if the sum total of good versus bad equals what would be considered a good day or a bad day.
To this point I have felt like what this song says, “sometimes ups outnumber the downs,” but not in my homeschool town. When people talking about homeschool have asked, “don’t you love it?” my answer has been, “it’s too hard to love but maybe I’ll get there.”
I may be getting there. I’m at least seeing a light. Part of it comes from seeing that two years in and my kids are OK. Simon, who couldn’t read at all when we started, is kicking back in his self-made hammock devouring all the Magic Tree House books he can get his hands on, and that math that I was certain was a failure is proving fine with the placement tests my kids have recently taken.
Since Sunday (during rare moments of clarity) I’ve been rolling the words of President Spencer W. Kimball around in my mind, “Remember that Abraham, Moses, Elijah, and others could not see clearly the end from the beginning. They … walked by faith and without sight.”
…In faith we plant the seed, and soon we see the miracle of the blossoming. Men have often misunderstood and have reversed the process. They would have the harvest before the planting, the reward before the service, the miracle before the faith. Teachings: Spencer W. Kimball.
The seeds I planted with Simon two years ago are starting to be visible. I’m planting seeds with all of my kids a thousand times a day. This perspective inspires me to work through the struggle and like Mother Theresa so profoundly taught, do it anyway.
So, If our balloon, glue and string planets implode into webs – Make them anyway
If it takes 20 interuptions to start reading a book to my kids – read it anyway
If I want to sleep in – get up anyway
If the kids whine about chores – expect them done anyway
If it makes a mess to prepare meals- eat anyway
If today has more downs than ups- meet tomorrow anyway.
That day that feels overall bad may be the beginning of something miraculous. It’s just too early to tell, so keep trying anyway.